Some stress is good for us
I’m sure the last thing you want to hear is that you should be more stressed. Most of us already have too much stress in our lives.
That said, some types of stress are better for us than others.
Stress is how our minds and bodies prepare to face a challenge. We need stress for survival: without stress, we wouldn’t have the instinct to jump out of the way of an oncoming car. The problem with stress is that our brains aren’t great at distinguishing between an actual, imminent threat (the oncoming car) or a potential threat (a car horn honking). Sometimes, we can experience just as much stress about the possibility of a threat as we would an actual threat. This can become a hallmark of several mental health disorders, including generalized anxiety, social anxiety, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder.
There are also smaller sources of stress. These are less about immediate survival and more about navigating the daily tasks of living—things like commuting to work, making and remembering appointments, meeting deadlines, etc. This type of stress isn’t the overwhelming kind that floods the system, but it can accumulate and contribute to high cognitive load, mental exhaustion, or burnout.
Even positive or enjoyable things can incur some stress. Think about the last time you went out with friends, played a sport, did something creative, or experienced a big life milestone. Each of these are situations that introduce some element of change or novelty that requires our psychological systems to adapt.
Some stress is worth having. We each get to decide which types of activities are worth the stress, and how much stress we’re willing to take on in order to accomplish something or have a specific experience. Sometimes, the fact that the thing is challenging—like hiking a mountain—is part of what makes it so rewarding. A quote from Theodore Roosevelt describes this well: "Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.” In our quest to reduce any and all stress, we risk losing out on the good stress and the meaningful experiences that come with it.
The concept of “friction-maxxing” entered the zeitgeist in early 2026, largely in response to technological advancements that have made some tasks easier and lower-stress than they’ve ever been. I’m in no way against making life easier–there are definitely plenty of tasks that we would benefit from handing over to our calendars, smartphones, and other technological assistants. I would, however, urge caution about which tasks we’re offloading and how often. Each task offers an opportunity to continue exercising our brains, maintaining the kind of mental sharpness and functioning that can only come from taking on some degree of stress.
I like this article from the Washington Post that touches on the neurobiology of stress/friction, describes the effects of tools like artificial intelligence (AI) on brain functioning, and provides some doable ideas for how to exercise our brains. The “friction-maxxing” suggestions, such as learning something new or cooking from a recipe, map on pretty well to psychological processes like behavioral activation, a gold-standard treatment approach for depression.
While some might cringe at the label, “friction-maxxing” ultimately describes a good way to care for our brain health and live a more meaningful life. Doing things a little more slowly can promote more mindful awareness of what we’re currently doing, allow us to savor enjoyable experiences, and facilitate intentional, values-aligned decision-making. Struggling with something—whether that’s trying to remember something, studying for a test, carrying something heavy, or something else entirely—can make it that much more satisfying to reach the outcome.
Let’s recognize where the good effort lives. Let’s make room for stress as part of being human, growing and adapting as we continue to move toward the life we want.
